Lukewarm

Wow. Im less than 3 weeks from leaving on my exchange. I'm so excited to be there and meet my family! I titled this post "Lukewarm" because just recently I attended a party with my friends from school. They were talking about next year  (senior year),  about the new teachers, new classes and schedules. I could already feel I was losing those connections. I thought I would be sad when this started to happen (which I knew would sooner or later) but I wasn't sad or happy. My feelings were lukewarm. Since theoretically I'm done with high school in the states (still hard to comprehend) It was hard for me to connect with people who were still in "high school". I don't say this to sound ignorant, because technically I am still a high school student myself. I didn't want this to happen, but its inevitable. Its just that now my biggest worries aren't about what teachers I will have next year, or what my schedule will be like, or if I will have "off" periods or not. If I was not going on this exchange I would be worrying about these things like most of my senior friends. However,the biggest things on my mind right now is getting my visa, and what will I pack? What do I do when I arrive? Then it will be adapting to the cold, meeting new people and getting used to hearing spanish instead of english.

Again, its weird to think I am done with high school, and have no desire to go back. It's kinda one of those "been there, seen, enjoyed, don't wanna go back"Im ready to go adventure and see, and ADAPT (exchange students are very familiar with this word.) Being at that party made me realize how different exchange students are or become (  and I haven't even left yet!). The whole time I was at the party I was thinking about my exchange, I wanted to be actively involved in the conversation but I felt as if I was kinda done with "gossiping" and teachers. I had fun at the party, and I'm so glad I went and got to see everyone. Something inside of me has changed, Im not even sure how to explain it. " its not good, its not bad, its just different."

Like I have said in previous posts, My emotions are a roller coaster. I'm lukewarm about some things I used to care a lot about  (I think part of it is I'm just ready to be there.) This is a huge step and I'm only 18 days away!! :)