Wednesday, July 20, 2011

"Everything will be okay in the end, if its not okay, it's not the end."

Shout out to my Rotex Brenna- gracias por darme las palabras de inspiracion!

Oh my goodness.
I leave for Chile in 31 days.
I'm freaking out.

haha- no really there have been so many times where I have been doubting myself and just wanting to bang my head up against the wall because there is so much preparation involved in the whole youth exchange process. Why would anyone want to leave everything that they know and love, to go study a different language, country and culture? Its CRAZY!!

Lately I have been so stressed. I am taking online college courses at TCC ( tarrant county college) and I am also taking a  2 hour classroom course Monday- Thursday in order to get my English credits that I will not be able to receive while abroad. I need these credits for graduation here in Texas when I return. The homework is ridiculous! Plus, working through all of the paperwork required to get my student Visa to even travel to Chile, alone, is a great headache. I am also working in the heat in the afternoons so I can pay for the expenses of my trip. So that wears me out. There have been times where I thought I was going to lose it and thought of backing out of the  whole exchange altogether. But then I thought of all the great things I will learn while I'm there, and all the people I will meet, and how much I will grow through all of this and all of these things still outweighed the stress I am going through right now.
My exchange is a month away. In ways I feel like I am so unprepared, but in ways I'm just ready to be in Santiago safely and meet my host family at the airport. Even though its only the beginning, I feel like this is the kind of stress I will experience on my exchange, so I better learn how to handle it now. There have been times where I have really had trouble trusting God, and remembering that he will never fail me. My biggest struggle right now is balancing all of the different things I have going on, and remembering to allow God to help me because I cannot do it on my own, no matter how much I think I can.
My heart goes out to all of my outbound friends who will, like me, be leaving soon. We were told it was going to stressful, difficult and scary, but I don't think we realized it until we actually had to deal with.

OK, enough complaining Madison- I know things are going to be okay and even having the time to blog and actually seeing the words on the screen helps me :) Thank you to everyone who is praying for me and for everyone who has been so supportive of me. I could have never been brave enough to do this without all of you!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Is this really happening?

I seem to be asking myself this a lot lately, " Is this really happening?" Every time I get an email from Camila ( my host sister) I think to myself, " Is this really happening?" I know I leave a lot later than most of my fellow exchange students so I can only imagine how they are feeling right now! wow! I'm worried about my visa because I have not heard from the consulate and i filed my papers over 2 weeks ago...hmmm?

I'm so excited and I think about my exchange everyday and always make a list of things I have to get done before I step on that plane in August. I lose the list and have to make a new one. hahaha. So much on my mind that I don't even  know where to begin. With college classes starting Monday and work and everything regarding my exchange and the people I will meet there and the people I will leave here... my mind is going a billion different directions!! ahh I pray that God gives me the peace and guidance to get through the rest of this summer and off to Chile peacefully.

I honestly covet prayers as I prepare for year abroad. This is only the beginning...